Unspoken Rules
by FairyTailFamily
Summary: Fairy Tail had rules. Some were enforced while others were not. It was a known fact that depending on the rule you broke, you'd get punished.   There were a few unspoken rules in the guild though. Sadly for Natsu, he broke every unspoken rule in the book.
1. Unspoken Rule 1

Fairy Tail had a lot of rules. Some were enforced while others were not. It was a known fact that depending on the rule you broke, you'd get punished.

There were a few unspoken rules in the guild though. Not official but official enough. Sadly, Natsu Dragneel had to learn what they were in a not so nice way. Sadly.

_Unspoken Rule #1: Never attempt or accidently harm Erza Scarlet's hair._

"YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN, SQUINTY EYES?"

"WITH PLEASURE, DROOPY EYES! STOP STRIPPING WHEN YOU FIGHT ME, FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MEN!"

"YOU THINK I STRIP BECAUSE OF YOU? YOU IGNORANT LITTLE BAS-"

"Natsu! Gray! I don't give a flying fairy if you fight, but fight away from me. I'm trying to drink in piece," Master Makarov scolded.

Cana agreed with the old man and maid a shooing motion.

"Fine old man! LET'S TAKE THIS OVER THERE, PORNSTAR!"

"FINE WITH ME, DRAGON SEXUAL!"

Gray punched Natsu, sending his body flying over a shocked Lucy and a carefree Happy.

"Ahhhhh! Natsu! Gray! I could've gotten hurt," Lucy complained. To her dismay, the two rivals paid no attention to her.

Natsu hopped up from the unfortunate members he landed on. "YOU DIRY LITTL-" He was caught off guard by another punch from the ice mage.

"Hehe. Sorry I couldn't hear you properly." Gray smirked at the now fuming Natsu.

"There you go again. Stripping in the middle of a fight." Gray looked down once Natsu stated that and started freaking out.

"Dang! Not again! Hey Lucy could I borrow your shirt and pants for a sec-"

This time it was Gray who was caught off guard by Natsu. The fire mage gave him a quick clean kick to his jaw. "You're gay," Natsu stated a matter of factly.

Gray gave the other boy the most disgusted glare he could conjure up. "I support gay relationships and find nothing wrong with 'em, but I could never find myself liking another dude. ESPECIALLY AN ANNOYING THING LIKE YOU!"

"Oh yeah? Let's finish this right here, right now." Natsu's hands became engulfed in flames. "Eat this, Gray!"

The flames left his hands and formed a beam aimed at Gray. The ice mage gracefully dodged it with ease. He was about ready to counter attack until he heard a monster.

"Natsu."

The voice was feminine but stern and deadly. Its calm tone made it even more disturbing.

"E-Erza. W-when did y-y-you get h-here? Me and G-Gray are being t-t-the best of fr-friends as u-u-usual. Isn't that right G-Gray?" Natsu looked as if he were about to cry from sheer terror alone.

Gray quickly hopped next to Natsu and put his hands around the fire mage, nodding vigorously.

Their supposed friendship was the last thing on her mind. It took a moment for the scared guild to realize what she was really fuming about. Even Master Makarov stalked off somewhere, knowing what destruction would happen.

The proud Erza Scarlet was prideful of many things. One of them being her long, beautiful, scarlet hair. Unfortunately for Natsu, he managed to burn half of that precious hair off once Erza entered through the doors.

Lucy couldn't sleep for weeks after witnessing the horrors that happened that day.


	2. Unspoken Rule 2

_Unspoken Rule #2: Never insult Erza Scarlet's looks._

It was a nice calm day in Fairy Tail surprisingly. The sun was out, the weather was perfect and it was a great day to go outside or take missions, this lead to the inside of the guild being more quiet than usual.

"Mira, can I have an apple juice please?"

"Coming right up, Erza."

Erza Scarlet was going to make the most out of this chaos free day. Even Gray and Natsu seemed to be a bit calmer than usual, only fighting when it came to something dumb rather than just plain ridiculous.

"Here you are, Erza. Enjoy," Mirajane commented sweetly as she placed the scarlet haired girl's drink on the counter. Erza gave her friend a light smile as she began to drink up.

"Hey Erza, want to come play a game with us?" Lucy waved Erza over to the table she sat at with Natsu, Gray and Levy.

Seeing Erza agree by coming over, they all made some room for her. "What game are we talking about," Erza questioned.

"This is how you play. It's pretty simple," explained Levy, " The first person says a word. The second person says a word that they thought of after hearing the first person. For example, if I said 'ice', the person after me may say 'Gray'. Do you get it? It's just something to pass the time."

Everyone nodded at how simple it was. They then decided the order. Finally after a few spats from Natsu and Gray, they decided it'd go in this order, Levy, Gray, Lucy, Natsu, and Erza.

"So I'll start off. Fairy Tail."

Gray seemed to take a few moments to think. "Mage."

"Magic."

"Natsu."

There was an awkward silence as everyone looked at Natsu.

"What?" The fire mage was confused as to why they were all staring at him.

"Why did the word magic remind you of your own name?" Lucy could only shake her head.

"Because, I have magic and my name is Natsu," Natsu proudly stated as he gave a thumbs up.

"Fire," Erza said, trying to move the game along again.

Taking the clue, Levy continued as well. "Red."

"Scarlet."

"Erza."

"Man."

"….."

"What? Did I say something wrong again?" The offender sighed and looked around the circle again, wondering what he did this time.

"Did you just call Erza a man?" Lucy was now standing up and backing away as if she could smell death already.

"Well if you put it that way….."

"Erza…what's going through your mind?" Levy tried to casually calm the scarlet haired girl. To her surprise, Erza looked calm and composed.

By now the whole guild turned their heads to the five.

"What did you mean by that, Natsu?" She looked calm, but Erza's voice was all but reassuring. Their was venom hidden in it.

Natsu suddenly realized what he did and ended up backing away just like Lucy. "No, you've got it all wrong! I'm not saying you're a man, I'm just saying that you look like one."

Somewhere from the back of the guild, Elfman shouted, "Natsu, men do not call women men!"

The whole guild was now making their way towards the exit. Levy and Lucy were already gone and Gray was trying to innocently walk away as though he saw nothing.

"So I'm not a man….I just look like one?" Her voice was ten times scarier now. Her expression also changed into what a murderer would look like before stabbing their victims to death.

"NO! That's not what I meant either! It's just….that you don't look like a girl….ah….you act like one!...or wait, no that doesn't sound right either….I….I….I'm sorry!" Natsu was now on his knees begging for forgiveness. Erza gave an evil smirk and began her torture.

The next morning Natsu woke up in a hospital with an inability to move his mouth.


	3. Unspoken Rule 3

_Unspoken Rule #3: Never punch Erza Scarlet in the face, even if she asks you to. _

"Agh this is so boring! Why'd we ever let Lucy pick the mission," complained a disappointed Natsu.

"You guys forced me to pick so stop your complaining! You in particular, Natsu!" Lucy huffed at the whining.

Natsu crossed his arms as if he were a child and sighed loudly. "I wouldn't have minded any mission except for this one. It's stupid and there is nothing to do."

Gray and Erza were a few ways off and heard the childish arguing that was going on between the two.

"Those idiots better shut up or they are gonna wake up the devil dog," Gray said to no one in particular.

Erza nodded in agreement as she watched the two bickering mages.

Happy was right above them, flying. "I hope this mission ends soon. The dog doesn't like me."

The mission was simple enough and something Lucy thought that her team wouldn't be able to screw up. All they had to do was dog sit for an hour, obviously an hour too much. The dog itself was horribly trained and aggressive. It managed to almost eat Happy and it chased Lucy all around the house. Finally for what seemed like an eternity, it fell asleep.

"We still have ten more minutes until the owners are supposed to be back. If we can go without breaking anything then I'll be satisfied." Erza was impressed that even with the chaos that happened, they were able to go through a mission break-free.

"This was way more tiring than I thought it'd be." Lucy made her way over to Gray, Happy and Erza. "I'm so glad that it's almost over."

"HEY GUYS! LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO!"

It was an understatement to say that they were surprised at the sheer stupidity that was radiating out of Natsu at the moment. There he was, juggling the owner's belongings, very expensive looking belongings no less, and cackling loudly.

"Ahhh! It's awake! I don't want it to eat me just yet! I just went to the bathroom and that'll make me taste weird!" Happy flew away from the area to who knows where.

The remaining members turned and saw what the exceed was talking about. The large Rottweiler awoke with a start and began to growl at the Fairy Tail wizars.

"Oi! Natsu you idiot!" Gray ran away, following Happy. Lucy was right behind him in an instant.

That left Natsu and Erza to fend off the blood thirsty pooch.

"Ah dang!" Before Lucy made her way out the room, she accidently hit Natsu's shoulder. The fire mage dropped all that he was juggling and it all broke into pieces. "It's not my fault!"

Erza could only flinch at the breakage that happened before her. There went the chance of them not breaking anything on a mission. She sort of expected it.

"Don't mind that now, Natsu! This time let's just try and put the dog in his cage."

Natsu went on Erza's suggestion and started to chase the dog around the house, occasionally running into a useless Happy, Lucy, and or Gray. Erza was running after them, not wanting to use any magic and possibly breaking more possessions of the owners'.

"Go! Go! Natsu! Go! Go! Erza!" Happy was calmly flying high in the air waving encouraging signs and eating popcorn.

"HAPPY, HELP ME YOU TRAITOR!"

Happy stuck his tongue out at Natsu and responded, "That'd be suicide."

"THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA CATCH THIS MUTT MY WAY!"

Natsu summoned his flames and aimed them at the dog. This lead to several things.

The dog was in flames, yelping for help. The flames somehow managed to latch themselves onto other things causing the whole house to go up in flames. Everyone had to fled, and Natsu grudgingly grabbed the burning dog and threw it outside.

"NATSU!"

They all had to take shelter as they watched the house burn dog. Natsu eventually sucked the flames off the now bald and frightened dog who was cowering in a corner.

"You're such a…there are no words to describe you right now!" Lucy began to scold the destructive fire user with all her might. "It's bad enough that you burned these poor peoples' house down but then you just had to go and make their dog ugly!"

"No don't yell at him Lucy. It's my fault." Erza was now patting the distressed blond on the back. "I knew that this was going to happen sooner or later and yet I didn't take any immediate action. If anything should take the blame, it'd be me. Someone please just punch me."

No one knew what happened right when it happened, it all happened too fast. Maybe Natsu blew a fuse in his already messed up mind. Before anyone could register anything, Erza Scarlet was on the ground with a bloodied nose.

"N-Natsu…why would you even….." Gray started to quake in fear.

"There really are no words…." Lucy began to take after Gray's foot steps.

"Obviously Natsu wants to die today," Happy stated as if he didn't care what was about to happen to his most trusted friend.

Natsu himself didn't know why he did it. He just figured, Erza asks people to punch her all the time so why not?

On the ground, Erza began to shake. At first they thought that the punch itself made her shake but they quickly concluded that it was from anger.

"Natsu Dragneel. Die." With a quick flick of her wrist, Natsu went flying with the birds in a matter of seconds.

Natsu wasn't able to go on missions with Erza for a month before his nerves were settled.


	4. Unspoken Rule 4

_Unspoken Rule #4: Never use sexual innuendos on Erza Scarlet. _

Gray leaned back in his seat and observed the area. For the umpteenth time since she joined, the team was currently taking refuge in Lucy's modest home. For the umpteenth time since she joined, Lucy was fuming at the uninvited company.

"Seriously guys, why is it always my house? Why can't we ever visit Erza at Fairy Hills or invade Gray's or Natsu's homes. Why is it always mine?" Lucy shooed away a wandering Happy and continued with the task of drying her hair. She didn't appreciate the sudden invasion while she was in a bathrobe and trying to make herself decent.

"It's because your house is always stocked up with food, to which our team has a fetish for. I'd think that you were used to it by now." Gray half smirked as he witnessed Happy get smacked away yet again as the blue cat tried to sneak a peak of Lucy's blossoms.

"One thing I'll never get used to is having you half naked in my home with a creepy look on your face."

With that being said, Gray looked down to see what she was talking about and of course he was once again in only his boxers. "Gosh darnit! Where did I put my clothes now?"

"Could you guys keep it down? I like to eat in peace," Natu hushed the distracting scene.

Lucy glared at the dragon slayer and pointed an accusing finger at him. "If you want to eat in peace then go to your own home!"

Natsu looked at her innocently with a piece of chicken hanging out of his mouth. "Iwt's nowt my fawt you awas 'ave yummwy foooooooood."

Happy agreed with a random, "Aye."

"Hey, where is Erza? I haven't seen her since I caught you all going through my underwear drawer earlier."

Gray gave a nonchalant shrug, clothed this time. Natsu and Happy could really care less as they were stuffing their faces with everything they could get out of Lucy's fridge.

The blonde girl's question was soon answered as the missing woman from earlier appeared behind her. "Lucy, I didn't know that you were such a descriptive writer."

Upon hearing what the scarlet haired girl was inferring, she turned around without hesitation and practically screamed.

"ERZA! WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!"

Lucy herself knew that she was overacting, if only a tiny bit, but she couldn't help it. She always made sure to update Levy on all her works but this particular story was for no other human eyes besides herself.

Erza looked shocked for a moment before kneeling down on the ground and apologizing to the stellar mage. "My apologies Lucy. I don't know what came over me to invade your privacy like that. Please just punch me."

Unlike months ago when some idiot really did punch her (coughNatsucough), Lucy just sighed and pulled her friend up to a standing position. "It's no big deal Erza, really it isn't. I blame myself for not putting it in a better hiding place."

"What's all the hubbub about?" Gray found himself next the girls and looked over their shoulders. He was smacked by, a flustered, Lucy as she pushed him away from the scene.

"It's none of your business. Now go be half naked somewhere else." Gray looked down at Lucy's statement and cursed. He managed to undress himself yet again.

"Aye," Happy randomly added, in between inhaling food with Natsu.

Suddenly a curious Natsu snatched the supposed book away from the girls. How he made it to them so quickly without them noticing, no one will know. "If Luce wrote it, I bet it's good stuff!" He energetically flipped through the pages, to the two girls' horror, but his features suddenly changed to that of a confused expression.

"I don't get it…."

"That's because you're too young for this stuff. Just give me the book back, Natsu!" Lucy rapidly took her works away from the prying boy and ran into her room, trying to find an area where her team will hopefully not think of going through.

"I don't see what the big deal was," Natsu pouted with his arms crossed.

"The point is that it's something that we have no right to look through, and it's my fault for ever taking it in the first place," Erza explained to the child-like fire user.

"I think I know what was so surprising in Lucy's novel," Happy implied with a naughty face on his blue face.

"And Lucy says I'm the creep. Not likely when the winged cat is here," Gray remarked as he looked at the flying creature.

"Gray that's mean!" Happy made a hurt expression and attacked the ice mage with plenty of counters.

All seemed fine once Lucy came back and the team resumed with what they'd usually do. Natsu and Happy went back to stuffing their faces with the occasional fights between Gray and Natsu. Lucy and Erza watched television while Gray was on a never ending journey for his clothes.

It came close to night and eventually the company thinned. Happy was first to leave, saying that there was a new episode of 'Fish Quest' that he recorded. Gray left a few minutes after, saying that there was only so much time he could spend with a flame brain.

That just left Natsu, Lucy and Erza. Lucy looked like she was getting tired and that was enough for her two friends to get ready to leave the blonde to her sleep.

Before they left, however, Natsu began to look puzzled again. His puzzlement seemed to only increase once the two childhood friends left Lucy's house. Even in the dark, Erza could tell that Natsu was in deep thought, mainly because he was unusually quite.

"Is there something troubling you, Natsu?"

Natsu looked up at Erza and gave a sheepish smile. "Well there was actually something I was wondering about."

Erza turned to him completely and stopped walking. "What is it? Maybe I can help you."

Natsu stopped walking as well and nodded. "Lucy's book….there was something in there that confused me." By now Erza had a startled look placed on her face. "There was a sentence in there….saying something…uh…actually never mind, forget it."

The scarlet haired beauty sighed a sigh of relief, happy that she wouldn't have to explain anything that might interfere with Natsu's strange innocence.

The following day recycled most of the events that happened previously. Lucy was met with her shameless team, invading every little part in her house. They all did their separate things and left sooner rather than later.

Once again, Erza and Natsu found themselves walking together in the night. It was nice enough. Natsu went on and on about who knows what and Erza placed in her opinions every so often. If anything, it was the best that they've gotten along for quite awhile. It was nice and refreshing to just be able to talk about the useless things in life together.

Leave it to Natsu to break that kind of sweet atmosphere.

"Hey Erza, maybe some time we could try amomaxia sometime. Your mammaquatia makes me wonder how good you'd be. Hmmm, or maybe before we do that, we should try typhlobasia first."

At first Erza didn't know where Natsu acquired that sort of vocabulary and why. She didn't care for an explanation either. All she could do was blush and be grateful that it was dark so that her blush was hidden.

"So how about it? I bet you'd bring me loads of pleasure. If all works out, maybe we could invite Lucy and Gray along too. And of course Happy can join in on the fun as well." Natsu gave Erza a big smile.

Erza, on the other hand, wasn't smiling at all. In fact, she really didn't know what to think. Being Erza Scarlet, she did the one thing that came into her mind first.

"W-wait Erza! What are you doing?"

Erza brought her fist down upon the poor dragon slayer until he was bloodied and about ready to cry.

"NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN YOU PERVERT!" Erza gave him once last final blow to his baby makers and stalked off, visibly pissed.

"B-but…" Natsu lay on the ground unable to move at all.

He was never asking Macao for word definitions again.


End file.
